Knowing that I have autism and understanding to why I do things I have learnt to accept it more and you may be thinking what things…well let me explain.
- I have to follow a routine – My life is done by a routine inside my head and every day is basically the same and if anything gets changed, moved around or thing seems to be affecting my routine I can get very confused to the point I will just blank everything out around me and try to ignore it until I can finger out what is happening
- Things have to be done in a time schedule – Everything has to have a time schedule so if I clean out Kiara my rabbit I will decide what time I’m going to clean her out so lets say I’m going to clean her out at 12:35pm ones the time hits 12:35pm I will start cleaning Kiara out, My friend says to me I’ll be picking you up at 2:40pm then when it hits 2:40pm I hope they turn up and as soon as it hits 2:41pm I start to wonder where are they, how long they gonna be and so on. I don’t spam them with calls haha
- Things have to be done in a list – I have a lot of note pads and when I have this thing where everything has to be run by a list even if that is just doing 3 thing it needs to be done in a list. I will try and complete my list too so there is nothing left to do and if a member of my family asks me to do stuff they will send to me by text set as a list so I can understand it better and have a plan in my head.
- I don’t like things in my room being moved or touched and I can’t stand people being in my room – My room is always clean and everything has its own little place and if I go into my room I can just look at something and tell someone’s moved it or touched it. You went in my room and moved something even a little tiny bit I know you’d moved it no matter what. As I’ve said I don’t like people in my room the only person I’ll allow in my room is my mum anyone else comes in my room I just ask them kindly to get out. When someone comes into my room I can feel myself getting tight, hot, stressed, annoyed and it feels like my room is getting very small and trust me I have a big bedroom.
- Like being on my own – I don’t like being in a big group or being with loads of people if its 1 or 2 people fine I can cope with that but more than that like 3,4 or 5 then no you have no chance in me evening being a part of that group, in fact, I’d do the other thing I’ll just turn around and walk away like I didn’t even know that group was their. If I find myself in a big group I will wait until they are focused or destructed and I will slowly walk off and basically disappear.
There are 3 to 5 levels of autism and to me people who have autism are still people we are still like you and everyone else we just see the world differently to you, we can’t understand body language that well so something to you come across as fine to me or someone else with autism may think you’re trying to be unkind.
That’s the same with when you talk to me or someone with autism we may get it completely wrong for an example if someone said to me “Oh Jack don’t be silly” or “Jack go away” now to you that is you joking around or something but to me or someone else with autism we will think you actually mean go away or you actually mean stop being silly.
When someone shouts “go away” I’m assuming I’ve done something wrong or upset someone so I’ll just stop talking to them and walk away assuming I’ve done something wrong and then a few days or weeks later I’ll get that person asking me why I haven’t been talking to them or I’ll message them asking what it was I did wrong and well 89% of the time I haven’t done anything in fact I didn’t even do anything wrong they were just sad for some reason but down to my autism I just assumed I did something wrong that upset them.
So if you know someone with autism please take the time to try and understand them and as I have said “People with autism are still people and still have feelings the only thing is that we see things differently to you ” and the same with may other things. To anyone who has autism and maybe reading this remember you an amazing person and you are loved by many.
This week I put a picture up on my Instagram page and all it said was “I have autism” and so many of you have left such lovely comments and messaging me and I just want to thank you for all the support it means everything to me and it just reminds me of how lucky I am to have such lovely supportive followers so ones again thank you!